Hamster Obituaries


Hammy “The Ham” Hall passed away in her sleep on January 29th, after nearly a year full of trauma and joy spent with Lizzy D. Hammy was loved by all, dropped by all, squeezed by all, starved by all and most importantly, held at all times by Miss Lizzy D. Her favorite past time was chewing holes through each of Miss Lizzy D’s shirts given to her by her Nana. She is survived by Miss Lizzy D, Sammy (our newest hamster received for Miss Lizzy’s bday), Soph, Ebug, and Drew. She has been buried in the back yard lovingly by her father and Miss Lizzy D.

Harry “The Hamster” Hall passed away in her sleep in February 4th, after not even one week of trauma and joy with Miss Lizzy D. Harry was purchased to replace the late Hammy Hall and truly was a joy for 6 full days. She was a short haired hamster, black and white. Her presence was so brief that no pictures were able to be taken and buriel occurred in the dumpster (shhhh…). Autopsy results will most likely put the cause of death related to the giant tumor protruding from her butt. She is survived by the 4 healthy Hall siblings and Sammy the hamster.

Fuzzy “Wuzzy” Hall unfortunately met her demise while being played with at a neighbors house. Neglect lead to her escape at which time the lovely Miss Lizzy D was heartbroken. No buriel will take place as Fuzzy is MIA. Fuzzy was received to replace Harry “The Hamster” Hall who replaced Hammy “The Ham” Hall.  The neighbor boy who was the culprit in assisting Fuzzy’s escape has repaid his debt to Miss Lizzy D with the latest addition of Nibbles “The cutie-pie” Hall. Fuzzy is survived by 4 crazy Hall children, and Hamsters, Sammy and Nibles Hall.

In leiu of flowers, donations to the Hamster replacement fund can be given directly to Miss Lizzy D’s father.

(Pictured above is dear Hammy who after so many spinal cord injuries due to fall was able to sleep peacefully with slumbering Lizzy.)


7 responses to “Hamster Obituaries

  1. This was the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. Our sympathy to Lizzy .

  2. Our deepest condolences. It is difficult to wake up to the sad news that yet another grand-pet has left this mortal existence for the “mas alla” (hereafter in Spanish.) We do have a darling brown poodle that seems to have survived the past twelve years in our humble abode, having been terrorized by many, hated on a daily basis by his duena ( female owner) and who always wags his tail with the dueno returns from a hard day’s work. This little brown furball has a life expectancy of many more years to Carol’s misfortune. Should you like him to join your family, we can see that perhaps by mid-April, you too could be the newest owner of a retro dog, one who will tarnish your carpet, chew up your door frames, and poop in your newly redesigned backyard. He might even terrorize your little hampster… oh and by the way, why don’t you buy a pair of mating hamsters, then you can have a new supply every six weeks! Not only willl it teach valuable sex ed lessons, but it gives children the opportunity to view the life cycle right in the comfort of your own home. Once again, “muy sentido pesame” deepest sympathies.

  3. I hope that Lizzy is doing okay with all of the hamster trauma!

    Your dad’s comment made us laugh!

    The blanket came this week – thanks so much. I’ve been bribing the kids with lollipops all week!

  4. So very, very funny…should I be laughing? And remind me not to have you pet watch…should we ever attempt to have another one since our dear Sadie Schmidt kicked the bucket.

  5. briannehall

    They just don’t make hamster’s like they used to do they? RIP Hammy. I want to see pictures of the puppy! How is that going?

    Also, do you have any pictures from the retirement party? If you have any of Steven and I/ the family I would love to get a “copy” (of the file) so I can print them up.

    Luv ya!

  6. Ok I want to be sad and sympathetic but I’m laughing my tukas off right now! RIP o hall hampsters… what are you feeding them poison?

  7. Maybe you should write an obituary for your blog?

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