Words cannot express how much I love you at this very minute but I will try anyways. After cleaning the vomitous food particles off the particle board behind the sink, on the cabinet floor, and on the pipes for 3 months, I cannot express enough my joy for the gift you gave me today. Thank you for the In-sink-erator Garbage Disposal you installed today. I am so grateful that I married a fix-it man who can calm a desperate woman’s cries with his trusty wrench and “I can do anything” attitude (or is it arrogance?). Anyways, I love you, love you, love you, no flowers are now necessary for the next year of our marriage. And as a added bonus, I will make you a chili-cheese burrito at any hour…even 11pm at night!
With Love Always,
Your Darling Jill